Introduction#

A group of friends decide to spend the weekend (19/07/2024 - 21/07/2024) in Beauford, Lake District, near the Scottish border, with the intent of going hiking to “Sterrie Tarn” Lake.

Cast of characters#

Bass Tuner, sound engineer with bad bowels. (Konstantina) Ben Ross, 50, Optometrist. Owns a white Jaguar. (Michalis) Jesus Crust, athlete, football coach for children. He is from the USA. (Tassos)

Arrival#

The weather is pleasant when the friends arrive in the late afternoon (18:00). They drive across a small stone bridge and then enter a parking lot next to “The Travellers’ Rest Public House.” Ben takes some time to properly park his Jag, while the other enter the pub. Ben pees on the Tesla vehicle because he can accept others can have nicer cars than he deserves. A sticker is attached to the Tesla “DEEPACK RULES.”

The Pub#

The place looks like a classic British bar. When Bass and Jesus step inside, everyone turns around to look and stare at them. An overweight, gray-haired man with stubble, who appears to be serving drinks, welcomes them. His name is Alan Merrin. A young blonde girl, Evelyn Merrin, prepares the service trays for her father to pick up. A black couple sits at the bar. A tall bald man with gray beard and a fleece, converses with his wife, in a Londoner’s accent. She is good looking and has almost no make-up on her face. The black man them an introduces himself as Bernand Werner, a fund manager from London. The woman’s name is Laverne. They have purchased a house in this village. Ben enters the bar. Notices that there is no music playing. Luckily, there is a jukebox next to pirate themed slot machine. The jukebox contains songs from the 70s up to the 90s. Ben chooses “Spice Girls – Wannabe” and the music fills the room. Bernard pulls the plug from the machine and offers to have Kevin show them upstairs. Kevin Merrin shows up from behind the kitchen counter to help with the luggage. He mentions that his father ordered more food than usual, so it will be free for everyone to enjoy.

First Floor#

As the group is led upstairs, they pass through the Snug, where a well-dressed hipster couple are eating salads and drinking tonic. There are four bedrooms. Bedroom 1 is taken by the hipsters. The three friends pick one of the remaining ones each. Bass uses the public toilets. He is happy that there is a bidet. Ben enters Bedroom 1 through the unlocked door and clogs the toilet with TP. Then he checks out what Bass did in the public toilets.

Dinner Time#

The group heads downstairs. The hipster couple is still there. The man is of Indian descent, muscled and good looking. He is escorted by a gorgeous blonde woman wearing famous brands clothing. Bass overhears their conversation. The woman says to the man that they should buy at least 10 houses in this village and that they should save their Bitcoins for after the American elections. The man orders Ben to bring him some tofu. The bar is now packed with people. A man with crooked teeth enters the premises. His accent indicates that he must be from Liverpool. He orders a bear, while Allan tells him: “Be mindful Bob, we don’t want any problem like last time.” Jesus joins Bernard and Laverne for a chat. Lavern attempts to gain information from Jesus. She tells him that she used to be dancer for the Hippodrome, nothing sleazy of course. She met Bernard there. Bernard says that he does accounting work for the whole village and its people. They also tell him that they are expecting a baby girl. Ben fetches shaving foam from his room to make some “tofu” for the hipster man. Bass takes points to photograph his reaction when he eats it. Ben grabs a few urinal cookies from the toilets in the grounds floor and heads out to serve the tofu. To make it even more presentable, he attempts to spray hair lac, but his clumsy fingers foil his plan, as he sprays himself in the face.

The Lounge#

A billiards table and dart boards are prominent in this room. A lot of photographs hang from the walls with portraits of old villagers. Evelyn Merrin takes an order from Bass and Jesus. She asks them why they came here. Ben shows up and talks to Evelyn in Old English. She seems surprised and says that she recognizes the language. Like something mentioned in a small frame hanging in her father’s office. He convinces her to take him there to make a phone call. The group overhears Bernard that Mary-Helen Merrin, Alan’s wife, is “missing.”

The Office#

Inside Alan’s office there is a painting on the wall, a password protected computer and a bunch of receipts on a desk. The painting depicts an image of a smalling star with a saying in Old English. S’mpanpampanpaniompanionBrightest starHis blessed fall, bestowing theHeaven’s lightAnd the love of GodUpon us all Ben pretends that he has a cough and requests water from Evelyn, just to get rid of her and gain enough time to search through the office. Being very observant, he notices that amongst the receipts there are a few standing out: One is about an order for a large amount of food, delivered yesterday. Another one is the rental of three vans. And lastly an Etsy order for 100 custom made masks. Ben leaves the office when Evelyn returns.

Cue Sports#

Ben returns to the lounge and relays to his friends all the information he gathered. Afterwards Ben and Jesus play billiards with Bob. They put bets on. Bob loses the match and angrily leaves, after saying that they will not make it out alive during the night.

Bass Investigation#

Bass goes to the bar and attempt to read the lips of those present. He is not successful. Then he heads into the library and discovers an article on Beauford and the local area, and the non-Christian beliefs they used to follow in the past.

The Great Escape#

The group decides to go out for a walk. Bernard stops them and demands that they have couple of shots with him before they retire for the night, otherwise he would feel offended by it. The three friends take a couple of shots each and leave the pub while pretending to go upstairs to their bedrooms. In the parking lot they realize that both the Tesla and Ben’s Jaguar are missing, and that there are three while vans parked there. Deepack and Jessica (the hipsters) show up and are dumbfounded their car is missing. They head inside to complain to the manager. Jesus successfully open Van 1, but triggers car alarm. Inside the van there is a plastic bag and a goat’s hide. That triggers the group’s survival instincts, and they run away, across the street, and hide behind a house. Then they notice people emerging from the pub, clearly looking for them. The friends decided to follow the hiking trail and head up to Sterrie Tarn. They manage to do it without being noticed by anyone.

Villagers are heard saying things such as:

• “The streets are blocked. Lavernε has made sure about that.”
• “We should start the celebration earlier tonight.”
• “Lock them in the pub. Kevin, open the door for your mother!”
• “Get the masks.”
• “They will eventually like our village in the end.”
• “Get the torches.”
• “We have to serve S’mpanpampanpaniompanion.”

As they get to higher grounds, they notice dozens of torches converging at the pub. Kevin exits through the cellar doors and informs the rest of the villagers that “mom will soon feast.” A large crowd is gathered. A man dresses in red robes and does the Morris dance. Screams are heard from the inside of the pub. Then a louder scream is and then silence. A few moments later a woman shrieks briefly.

Descent into Madness#

POW rolls are called. Ben and Bass succeed and lose 10 POW and 6 SAN. Jesus loses 30 POW and 7 SAN. All three of them go into a bout of madness. They all feel the love of a creature. It wants to share it with everyone around it. They are compelled to descend the path towards the village. On their way there they encounter Bob, who also joins them. At the pub they meet Alan who welcomes them. They are told that the hipsters have been sacrificed. But they need another one. Ben and Bass offer themselves. A scuffle ensues and Bass wins, only to be stopped by Jesus who eventually enters the pub as an offering. The villagers are feasting and celebrating. Alan ushers Ben and Bass to celebrate with them la fête (the party). Jesus enters the bar. He discovers Jessica lying soulless on the table. She has no eyes anymore. Deepack is lying dead on the pool table. The Mary-Helen Thing approaches him, sniffing the air around it and then slowly embracing Jesus with the tentacles emerging from her head. He feels warmth as the creature’s sharp and pointy tentacles penetrates his flesh to allow it to jump between bodies, taking over its next faithful follower: Jesus Crust.

The Final Nail in the Coffin#

The consuming of Jesus triggers another POW roll. Everyone loses 50 POW and 100 SAN, causing the three friends from Birmingham to become thralls to her will. An eyeless Crust emerges from the pub and follows the path to the Sterrie Tarn, leading the whole village with him. At the top of lake, Crust raises his hands like Jesus Christ. Tentacles emerge out of his head, creating an unworldly mist that surrounds everything. Life comes back to everything around. People grow back eyes and limbs; nature blooms and thrives. Crust is then led back to the pub to be locked down in the basement for the next 5 years, until the creature inside him hungers again.